Kaisertum der Westerinsel/en
German •''' English '• 'Esperanto '''• Latin The Wester Island Empire (commonly abbreviated as just Wester Island, Latin: Imperium Insulae Occidentalis, German: Kaisertum der Westerinsel) is an island state located in the East Pacific, where it belongs to Polynesia. The current head of the state since the 15th of july 2018 is Emperor Woodgrain Gerbil. The capital is Occidentia. Geography If one is being chased by a murderer on Wester Island, an aeroplane or a ship has to be found in order to escape, for the whole island is surrounded by water. It's just how islands work. The nearest island, Sala y Gómez, which is by the way unpopulated, lies around around 216 nautic miles away. Let's put it to record: The island is far beyond all world civilisation. The tallest mountain of the island is the active volcano Mt. Terevaca, which has an altitude of 507 metres. The island itself is the product of three volcanos, that wanted to see the light of day at any cost. If one imagines the island as a right-angled triangle, in every corner there is a volcano. Clockwise, starting at twelve o'clock position, those are Mt. Terevaca, Mt. Puacatice and Mt. Ranu Cau. The climate is typical for the South Seas: The annual temperature lies at 21 degrees centigrade (or 70°F). But the best about the climate is, that there is no winter. No snow slush, no slip hazard. Nothing. It's the paradise. Economy The Wester Island lives only because of it's tourism. Therefore it needs to be greatly proficient at all times. The island has a trump card for that topic. The whole island is plastered with funny looking stonemen, called Moais, which are being abused as a national symbol. Some beings find there Moais so hillariously fascinating, they want to get their butts of their bourgois armchairs and travel around the whole world to Wester Island in order to eyeball those Moais on one's own initiative. And every second of eyeballing costs exactly twelve Wester Island Sesterces. Convenient, eh? Actually that's not a well-known, even secret, fact, the tourist are rarely aware of until they get illuminated by their guides. Thus tourists in panic, carrying stopwatches with them and sometimes even blindfolds, have got to become one of the most significant parts of the culture. Therefrom comes the ridiculous wealth of the Wester Island. If the rest of the Midearth-Inhabitants came to know about it, the island would most likely suffer of bankruptcy. But nobody believes sweaty and obviously lunatic and dreched-in-tears tourists, so the government of the island doesn't have to care about them seriously. History Nobody knows much about the indigenous people of the Wester Island, except the fact, that they had some kind of fetish for westwardly facing Moais. Hence the culture on the island seemed to always have been quite west-orientated. With the arrival of the Dutchmen, the indigenous eventually witnessed their near-extinction and to this day only exists as a minority culture on Wester Island. And that's actually quite sad. But the whole story generates at least a lot of money. The first dutchman setting feet on the island was the explorer Jakob Roggeveen. And because he discovered the island at Easter-time, he called it Easter Island. His evil twin, Esau Roggeveen, was not amused, since he always has the opposite opinion as his brother. He's his evil twin after all. Jakob studied Ancient Greek, Esau studied Latin. Jakob slept with some lights on, Esau slept in complete darkness. And the most important of all contrasts: Jakob was fascinated by the east, Esau was fascinated by the west. Hence, the potential of the conflict was always given. And because Jakob owed his brother Esau an Holland-Kebap, he was followed by him until he eventually got robbed by him at night after arrival on the island. The next morning, Jakob was so furious about it, that he broke Esau's neck. It was at this moment, when Jakob knew he fucked up and his awareness of the coming emptiness of his life rose quickly, now that his eternal counterpart was gone. Hence it came to pass, that he renamed the Easter Island in honor of his brother to Wester Island, placed Esau's wife '''Judith Roggeveen '''as first monarch of the - now founded - Wester Island Empire and he changed the official language to Latin, just before he threw himself down the cliffs of Mt. Ranu Cau and died. What a sad story. Famous people * Woodgrain Gerbil * Old Joe * Kurt Schwitters * Stitch Jones Kategorie:Staat Kategorie:Anderssprachige Artikel